Welcome

At the request of my many fans, I have created this blog. As those of you who know me already know, I am extremely busy protecting the free world from communism, my Sainted Mother from that Interloper, et al. I will, however, endeavor to post a bit here from time to time to satisfy the throng of ladies who favor brindle warriors.

For those of you who do not yet know and love me, a short introduction is in order. My name is William John Gavin, or "Billy." I am an eleven year old border collie/pitbull/heinz mixed breed dog. I live in an urban midwestern neighborhood with my beloved Mother (who can do no wrong), my fat whore of a sister (a seven year old rottweiler), two cats (Mia and Three), and my new Daddy, who sucks. I am sworn to uphold the American Way and have, at various times, acted as special attache to the president, secret agent, and soldier.

My mom adopted me from the animal shelter some seven years ago. At the time, I had just returned from a rather harrowing mission in Siberia, and I had a rough case of kennel cough, and some other ailments. I was incarcerated at said shelter by Communist Agents who wished to keep me from protecting this fair nation. Recognizing my glory right away, my Sainted Mother adopted me, and I have continued my missions with her blessing since that time. However, when adopting me, my Sainted Mother failed to notice the GIANT BOLD PRINT in which I had written "NO SISTER" on my adoption paperwork. She therefore stuck me with a fat, lazy rottweiler by the name of Grace Anne. Grace Anne is large, unwieldy, and annoying. I hate her.

Speaking of hatred, I also hate my new daddy. He repeatedly attempts to manipulate the attentions of my Sainted Mommy in his own favor, despite his woefully inadequate equipment, which he rarely cleans. I continue to work on a solution to this problem.

More later, my friends.

B